Today’s charm school break is sponsored by faux holy soap.
While scrubbing is not a recommended technique for soul-care, irony is. In my quest to un-do my religious programming and find an authentic way of being on the planet, I’ve read dozens and dozens and probably hundreds of ponderous books, many of which were quite brilliant and helpful.
I’ve read books by scholarly heavyweights and quirky revolutionaries, by theologians and atheists, by mystics and poets, by priests and psychologists. But as it turns out, a tube of lip balm can also speak volumes.
My cheeky “Looking Good for Jesus” balm is “virtuous vanilla” flavor and promises to help me “be worthy” and “be noticed.” Turns out all of that effort in churchy charm school could have been replaced by judicious beauty purchases.
Lots of Blue Q products offer the same sense of whimsical detachment, in fact. Nothing makes me feel better about personal germ dispersal than my “Wash Away Your Sins” towelettes, scented with heavenly Easter lilies and guaranteed to help me “go forth purified and moisturized.”
Sure, it’s hard work to keep digging until you hit spiritual pay dirt, but a bit of wit along the way propels you with pure charm-i-ness. Besides, you know you could use an extra lip balm (it’s SPF 18, for goodness sake!) and anti-bacterial towelettes to keep in your car. It’s just plain good sense.
And it’s exactly what the Charm Marm wouldn’t order.
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